Apparently this did not post on Saturday when we tried...
Just a little thing called "Lombardi/Quinn" to rank the top 10 teams in the National Football League striving for the Super Bowl and the bottom 5 teams jockeying for the first selection in the April 2007 Draft. (Previous Week's Ranking in Parentheses)
Top 10#1 Chicago (
1) - the players spent the bye week engaging in all their favorite leisure activities... with one notable exception. Quarterback Rex Grossman was kept at the training facility to work on his jersey color recognition skills.
#2 Indianapolis (
2) - apparently when you try to snap Peyton Manning in two, it brings you bad luck, as in the three 3rd quarter strikes he threw against the 'Skins. Maybe they should have tried that against a QB who runs the wishbone?
Next up: a tough road tilt against the Denver Broncos... when Peyton and his aching body heard of the next opponent, he could only lament "the Denver Broncos?!"
#3 New England (
4) - the loss to Denver in week 3 seems to have jolted the Pats from a slumber. The blowout win over the Bills was their 3rd straight dominant victory. Nothing more sobering than to realize you lost to a team quarterbacked by Jake Plummer!
#4 Denver (
6) - the defense continues to bail out the erratic play of quarterback Jake Plummer, who has yet to lead the offense beyond 17 points this season.
Next up: The Colts bring their high-powered offense in to face the new "Orange Crush" defense. The only question is whether Peyton Manning or Jake Plummer will throw more TDs scored by the Colts.
#5 New Orleans (
7) - the Saints marched into their bye week with a 5-1 record after back-to-back nailbiting victories over the Bucs and Eagles. The concept of the bye week isn't well recieved in New Orleans, where it seemed FEMA was on "bye week" for much of September 2005.
#6 Cincinnati (
NR) - edged out the Panthers in a titanic battle of the cats. With no other games scheduled between the Lions, Jags, Panthers, and Bengals, Cincinnati will remain on top of the litter box until 2007. Good kitty!
#7 Atlanta (
NR) - a thrilling overtime winner that was keyed by the throwing arm of Michael Vick, who tossed 4 TDs for the first time in his NFL career. In a related story, the high temperature in hell that day was a brisk 29 degrees.
#8 San Diego (
3) - the loss in Kansas City was made even worse with the revelation that a four game suspension was looming for Shawne Merriman. When told of the penalty, Merriman said "in the immortal words of Socrates... I took what?!".
#9 Minnesota (
NR) - the NFC teams met after week 2 and decided to ensure that the Super Bowl curse would continue this season with the Seahawks. First, the Giants took care of Shaun Alexander and his foot. Now, the Vikings, thanks to EJ Henderson's stop/drop/roll technique, have taken care of Matt Hasselbeck. When asked what they did for the cause, Chicago's Brian Urlacher, asked "didn't you watch the game? We emasculated the whole lot of 'em."
#10 NY Giants (
NR) - a few teams were battling for this final spot on the list, but the Giants clinched it with the win on Monday night coupled with the hit Brandon Short put on "the player".
Next up: Tampa Bay comes to town and Matt Bryant will be lucky to hit from 42 yards with New Jersey's stringent "fire code" laws.
Bottom 5#28 Tennessee (
28) - have had two weeks to prepare for the Texans, so could a two game winning streak be on the horizon?
#29 Detroit (
NR) - the good will from the win over the Bills sure didn't last too long.
#30 Miami (
29) - this was supposed to be a Super Bowl contender?
#31 Oakland (
32) - found a team more sorry than themselves... good for them.
#32 Arizona (
31) - the talent, especially at the skill positions, isn't the worst in the league, but when you give the Raiders their first (and likely only) win, you deserve this ranking.